Summer Dreams, A Late Report

sleeping on james st., june 10-august 12

really old / mystery building where I was a server but they only had clam chowder even though there was tomato soup but they told us to mix it because the clam chowder was too thick.

ghetto art baseball team and callyn from Prague/aca was on my team and everyone was worried we wouldn’t be able to smoke cigarettes while were playing or there would be a thunderstorm. some girl wearing these really crazy tights. some boy trying to hit on me who kept saying “moth” instead of mentos. he was telling a story that didn’t make any sense. he was really self-conscious about it. I wanted to do cartwheels on the way to the field in the grass because I was so excited but I was worried that no one else was that into it.

something thing about trading clothes with people. everyone being really nice.

it was important to remember purple flowers or blue flowers. something running through a basement. the way the light is violet or violent during a storm.

newspaper article with holga pictures in color. there was one of bert selling kale.
his last name in the caption is “will”or “w(h)ile”

there’s a house that I live in, it’s next to a restaurant. a lot of people I don’t come over and have a potluck or something. there’s a flaming lips album on that I’ve never heard. it’s a mixture of some other album, too.

in a downtown that looked like our downtown, I was there for some workshop about kale or something, jen was there. there was this building in the middle surrounded by forest even though it was like in the middle of town like the strut. whoever was doing the workshop said something like they referred to bert like he was a piece of bacon and were doing something about kale. everybody had to write down the time or place that they fell in love with the natural world with this piece of plastic. I think mine was about Michigan. somebody wrote something about a forest I don’t remember. we all put them in the middle. the room that I really liked was being used as a bathroom, but it wasn’t, it was painted pale blue and barn red on the inside. I remember going in and locking the doors. there were windows on both sides. it pretty much looked like the middle cabin up north and I thought I could stay there forever.

something about tom, moving something like he was a bulldozer, his arms strong like that.

moving bales of nutritional yeast. I was trying to make somewhere to sleep. on the floor but josh n. was there and I didn’t want him to sleep next to me. somewhere maybe in my parent’s house.

boat trip in italy. there was a gymnasium on the boat and this weird hose that was neon orange that was made of silk that was used to blow up… I don’t know what it was used for. every night we had to clean the gym up and different people did it. I just kept putting my stuff closer and closer to the stereo.

you could go exploring on the island we were on, but I don’t think I knew that until afterward so I just stayed around where there were cities. later on the map I looked and there was apart that was blue or pink or green and I could have gone there, but it was just with all the people and their lawn chairs.

Franz came to teach some workshop. Some people in it were annoying maybe some girl who couldn’t find the stuff we were supposed to be working on. workshop wasn’t good. I saw him later though. Got to talk to him.

there was something important about mice this morning. four different room. like meidival shit, like bile, the four different tempers. one of them was sand. something in glass jars.

supposed to go on a ski trip with some school. I rode my bike there and there was a special container packed with a piece of ///// wish I was there.

a thrift store full of items there was there that was a full of table of

drinking discount wine, buying a lot of bath towels, helping my parents with some sort of project.

Lesley sarry east hall art studios, that kind of thing, climbing up and down the stairs.

Camping in a square tent. The word would flash.

Bert? had gotten some instrument, very excited to play, had to wear this neon army poncho blanket. Spinning wanting to play it out by the highway. Needed tuning. The diagrams were drawn, looked like garden plots. Gonna go out by the highway and play it. Weren’t wearing anything under it.

A piece of paper all filled out for school. Name in the top left corner. Names all smooshed together. I am trying to write. It says ‘mom’ and a bunch of other names at the same time. Maybe a picture of Beverly? a movie?

Out on some farm, near a ski resort. Lots of little roads connected. Maybe we’re all signing/sawing something we’re making there. Like dairy separates.

So wonderful brown dog. Brown curly hair. We were staying there with a crazy old hippie guy who would pick you up wherever you were and give you a ride to the airport. Always seemed like there were people staying with him, maybe bert and brad and sara were there. We stayed there. I knew him before they knew him. I gave him a hug and his body was three or four times wider than a body should be. A big cast on one of his arms. We kept forgetting things inside and whoever was driving, I think it was Brad, everyone thought maybe I was going to stay there, but that was more like a joke than a real thing. Bradley was driving Tom’s big blue van, but it kept changing from what it was going to be. I was also involved in a cooking project at the same time. There was a box cutter.

Looking through an owl shaped wind chime, I mean pillow, I mean pillow with a wind chime inside. I was with my mom in a store and we were looking for a pillow that was also a windchime with a bell inside. They had some shaped like owls but they weren’t perfect so I didn’t get one.

Bradley was here moving milk crates around the kitchen. Asked it was okay if he invite people over. Earlier he’d won something, I’d said. We were on a road trip with other people. There was a question. We were at my house. He got some piece of paper with a squirell drawn on it, maybe a magnet. I wanted him to take something better from the box of things to give away but I’m not sure what.

In Portland Nina makes us get these sandwiches from some place under the bridge that look like really not good sub sandwiches, I think eric sabatino might be there. Kevin is there with his girlfriend that hate’s me or doesn’t hate me but she has wispy blonde hair and bright orange finger nails. She keeps running around putting her head inside of his shirt and she’s not very tall.

Earlier making some baked goods in the forest by the lake or maybe an ocean. I stick my head in a mail box/tube, find these vitamin/candies that bert was telling me about. They’re probiotic and they have some silly name. There’s two bottles of them, so we get to take them. We go up in this machine, flying. I’m not sure how it works. Swooping out over the lake/ocean. Either my boss Rick or Joe from the writing workshop is there and he’s sort of driving it, saying that nobody else likes it when he drives it out over the lake but we tell him to go ahead and do it anyway even though there’s someone in the back of the nonexistent vehicle who had perhaps gotten sick earlier, so he does and it’s really great, swooping out there and everything and I’m not even scared of falling in the water. We’re staying out somewhere for an extended period, a week. Bert and I have a discussion in the kitchen in the morning about how the whole week is somehow like…ironing out some difficulties or something, I think he’s referring to something with sex and Brad walks in while we’re talking about it, but things seem…good, fine, all of us being there together.

Dream about making many many many different flavors of granola. Shelves arranged like cubby holes, the bulk section of Sawall. It might be raining out. There might have been some oracle inside of it, something about quitting making it but we didn’t.

Me and Alicia where she lives. A weird bathroom where the toilet doesn’t work and she’s collecting piece after piece of paper. Her bed was hidden under a big pile of other things, it seemed typical and undisturbing.

Not the actual thing happening, but the phrase of it. The thought of getting tied down while sleeping.

Cooperative, everybody working on a farm or on little projects, making…things.

I was wearing my ramones t-shirt part of last night.

Driving a car maybe raining, a windy road up a hill. Had a job interview. They called all four of us back even though they only needed two.
Giant pile of cooked spaghetti in the room where the interview was being conducted. It needed to be washed.

House-sitting for my mom, wearing her clothes, at least a slip of hers. My dad coming home with some cauliflower that was like cauliflower that she made but it was cauliflower that she made. Living with a lot of others, I had this giant barrel full of wine that I’d bought in San Francisco, trying to get people to drink with me. Felt like a very stereotypical depressed artist because I wasn’t smiling very much. I kept saying things about “art school!” and trying to give people wine. We did a project where everyone was given a category and a size and everyone was supposed to pick up items from a store to resell, like a goodwill and we were going to resell them somewhere else. I went in the men’s shoe aisle. Spencer from work was there and his butt was all in the air. I found these really cool lace-up green keen shoes with toes and they fit me and not a man with size 12 feet and I was gonna keep them, but then I woke up. Before this we were in a supermarket and we were choosing the best pictures to advertise food. I kept thinking how they should have chosen all fruits and vegetables but they were obsessed with these mac and cheese things that looked pretty stupid. I wasn’t smiling in those pictures either.

For a second I thought I got to drive the jeep but it was some crazy contraption gypsy wagon thing, it was bright orange. I guess it belonged to my family. I was in it with Bert and Brad, maybesomebodyelse was there. All our stuff was rattling around. We were driving up the side of a mountain. My brother and dad showed up at the bottom. We were glad they were going to help with something. We were gonna drive it to Portland, stay the night, and then keep moving. Hard to remember where we were going. Inside was beautiful. Wood carving on the outside, pasta and kitchen stuff hanging on the inside. I remember wondering where I would sleep with bert in it. Him turning younger in a grocery store, asking for oreos for some recipe but he didn’t even know what she was making. He didn’t want to buy them because they were unhealthy. I understand that. Something about going to Portland I can’t remember. We didn’t get there, just this mountain. So steep, so steep.

Maybe the machine was shrinking and growing. It was squat like a gelato container. Had a life of it’s own like a copper beetle. Glass jars that once held gelato sleep in or something. An old woman with big leather feet/teeth, stains on them.

Prow of a ship. Positive octave. The front of it like a ferry. RJ.

Working in a kitchen that looked like Friendship Village. Specific tasks for specific days. I was in charge of pushing carts full of dishes. Feeling of Big Sur. Built to Spill and M ward played a show together two nights in a row. California. I get to sneak in and see it, it was great.

Got a ride home on a thing like a motorized rickshaw. Hottest day ever. Everyone had sweat inside it and their sweat was still there. I tried to make them watch the movie on the way in the driveway. I just wanted to see the opening. There had been some festival with lots of drinking. I’d been with friends trying to cross a demolished bridge. They had to trespass through a yard. I think we made it. Backpacks and wading through swamps though.

Sitting next to grandma or someone like her at a big banquet table. Fucked up vegetarian restaurant but it’s not vegetarian because they have chicken, but they claim the chicken is “dirt-free,” they claim the things they’re selling never even grew in the ground. She keeps stirring some red powdered fizzy stuff in my drink. I’m holding my hand above the top. Before that in the basement of my parent’s house. My mom gives everyone pro-biodiesel bumper stickers. There’s a boat inside that we’re all hanging out in playing cards. You can lower it up and down but I don’t know why we were down there. There’s something inside there. The boat is also a chest. Just before waking I was cranking it so it would open. But I got nervous because my mom was coming. I stopped opening it.

Spend some time in a skate park. The concrete was made of my parent’s basement. Greasy and shiny with little tar spots on it. Bicycles that resembled row boats with lever machines oars that we’re three times longer than normal bicycles. Levers on the tops. Parked by my parent’s house. Tom and Kevin were visiting at the same time.

I remember us as jokes. Maybe talking about who we had crushes on. I remember us as jokes. Taking a marker or colored pencil to check or not check who we liked on a notebook paper. This was Tom’s joke. I closed my eyes and drew a lot of circles and said “everyone.”

In the garage somebody told me that your hair looks okay before that in the freezer.

Carrying knives and gardening equipment. Really heavy in the back of my parent’s house. Trying to explain to them that as much as I hated it when I was younger I’d make fun of people for not going out and leaving their houses most of the time, that’s what I like to do. I was trying to think of a specific example of a hermit I’d known but couldn’t do it. Also overgrown tall stalks it was late fall, thinking about Colorado.

About the writing of poetry, about how that was/is the one thing. Also that rejection letter, hot in my head still.

I was a child at something that looked like the flea market in Prague. I could have anything I wanted from a pile. Running around through the rubbish. The edges of chalkboards broken, the corners of them.
Went to Chicago to see my friend Angela…somebody and me stuck in the worst play in the world. Kevin/Cabin. In the basement of somewhere lost talked to Chris Morgan for a long time. Looking at homemade candles that came with something free if you got one. We talked about rice paper?

My dad was ocd or something had thirty or forty pairs of the same socks. My mom and I were doing something trying out in the field like an old golf course. Neither of us had clothes on. There were people around getting ready for a game or movie. Trying toget omething back that we’d lost out there. Some maintenance men or delivery drivers. It was pretty audacious. Spent some time wandering in an abandoned factory, maybe the abandoned factory, maybe.

Something on the lens, out on a limb, going out with the lightbulbs. I was hopping over a chain link fence. There were people everywhere. People like hanging out in the neighborhood here like usual. There was someone that was supposed to be Nic, fallen over passed out in the lawn but it didn’t look like him. There was a dog that was trying to get in. I was moving. It was stuck by its leash in the tree, it was hanging but not hanging. It was definitely stuck up there.

Bunch of mattresses in the back of my car. They got crushed or smashed somehow. A person from the salvation army in south haven did it. I got to get a free bed from them. I’m not sure why. It worked out that way. Somebody saying it’s not something you can do alone.

Giving away granola. Watching Bradley talk to two women walking away outside some gathering. I’m with Alicia and sara. They both have seen the way he can talk to girls and charm them. He’s telling them a story that involves witchcraft. We’re walking down egelston, the street I grew up on. Maybe there’s blueberries somewhere. I don’t like the girls he’s talking to. It’s not that I don’t like them but that I know they’re not… they like him but he’s just impressing them to impress them and I’m annoyed about it.

Trying to catch a taxi on a dirt road but cars… standing with a bunch of other people but I kept getting scared because I hardly ever get in taxis but besides we were on a dirt road anyway. I felt like everybody was watching. I walked along til we got to a loop where everybody had to get in, so I got in.

Hanging out with Rachel (howard) that used to live with Kevin. We built this raft thing in my grandparent’s backyard after we spent one night camping out there sleeping on just the grass without any shelter. We built this thing out of pvc pipe. These dudes had been hitting on us before…we used the raft to zoom away from them. There were some people watching, laughing… Drew, not Kevin, maybe Tom.

I looked in the bedroom where kevin’s girlfriend used to live. The paint was all patchy pink purple spray paint on the walls. Looked like ten times abandoned for ten years. Holes in the floor. Felt really weird looking in there. Very curious. I shut the door and the rest of the house looked normal.


At a residency place somewhere in "Saratoga Springs, FL" but also in Europe at the same time. Went on a walk with sara bijani, bert … an old abandoned building. Really sunny. Kombucha babies everywhere inside there was a water slide thing. Somewhere along there it turned into the desert almost. Bert took his clothes off and started walking up this dune. I of course followed him, leaving Sara there all alone with our clothes. She got them and took them back to the place. When I got there I had lost my schedule and there was a gymnastic dancing show being put on by people from wmu. they were all smoking cigarettes at the same time too.